How is she this smart??

Kids.  They will challenge you like no other!! Mine blows my mind with the things she says all the time.

But what about the things they DON'T say?  For the longest time, Addison really couldn't speak.  She was born with a cleft palette that caused a lot of fluid and build up in her ears so she ended up barely hearing at all until she was one.  So she missed out on a lot of language.  Since then shes been in speech therapy.  She's five years old now and now sometimes I miss the old days. haha..

But in all seriousness, since she's able to ask questions, express her needs and convey her thoughts, I feel like I'm really seeing into the world of Addison.  I'm finding that for the past 5 years, she has always been paying attention.  Just because she couldn't talk, didn't mean that over the past few years she couldn't hear or feel.  She will randomly point out that I am happy.  And not because I am smiling.  Because she feels it.

So what else does she feel/see/hear?  The answer is, Reality.  She expressed to me the other day that she knows who her dad is, and that he's her dad.  But what had me floored is that she also knows who her "best daddies" are.  Kids watch TV and read books.  None of those promote dead beats...lets be honest.  So she sees these dads who are around their children all the time, teaching them right from wrong, giving them the love and attention that we all need.  She was just so...matter of fact about it.  She didn't seem sad and she didn't mention her dad again either.  In fact, she never does.  I get her really pumped up before she sees him, and then she seems happy, but she usually just asks if he's going to buy her a present.  So am I to assume then that that's all he is to her? Is she saddened by this? I'm afraid to ask.  But she certainly hasn't shown me any negativity about the situation.  She loves the men she considers her father figures.  I'm just happy that she isn't confused by it.  I think that's the part that freaks me out.  She understands what's going on.  She's only 5, how is she so with it?  And then that statement brings another concern.  My child is only 5.  Her thoughts shouldn't be about who she feels the daddy love from.  The only things that should be going through her mind are which toys she wants to play with next.

The fact that Addison doesn't have the proverbial "normal" family dynamic does actually sadden me.  I had such an incredible childhood with two loving parents that were always there for me, guiding me.  I am soo incredibly blessed to have grown up the way I did.  All I can do now is my best.  I hate that I work the hours I do, but it's what needs to be done in order to be available for all her appointments.  I pray that I am teaching her the obvious right and wrong, but teaching her how to be the best person she can.  If she does hear about some of the madness that goes on thanks to her dad, I hope that all she takes from that is that it's not her fault.  It is 100% the action of her dad that has caused this situation.

I can only imagine what she will think one day when she discovers his criminal history.  Can you imagine finding out that you've spent years around a criminal? And only because the court made you? I'd be pretty upset.  I'm sure Addi will be.

Revenge

This Crazy Life.  I don’t think I could have chosen a more fitting title for this blog.  The only thing crazy that would shock me is if I were to win the lottery. ..

                Throughout the past 5 years, I’ve thought, “this is it, the end” so many times.  A hearing takes place, it ends in my favor, and then I can move on with my life.  I know by now, that it will never end.  Not until my little Addi Bear turns 18.  Then who knows what else will be happening.  I keep hoping that one day Addison’s father and his family will wake up and realize that everything they do hurts her.  Her dad has admitted that he doesn’t want her.  But that his parents do.  So the only way he will sign over his rights is if I give his parents adoptive rights.  If they cared at all about Addi, they would end their desire to indefinitely litigate, and just go away.  Leave her alone.  Let her enjoy a life surrounded by those who truly love her.  They are all so full of hate and malice that they think they are hurting me by protracting out this case.  They think I will roll over and give up because of money.  I will not.  Wake up and realize something: you are not taking money from me. You are taking it from Addison.  Over $100k spent. Just think what Addison could have! A house, fully equipped to accommodate her special needs, better clothes, healthier foods…even more time spent with her mommy so she doesn’t have to work every day of the week. How about a vacation for her?? Because let me tell you, two weeks spent in West Palm so she can attend physical therapy with her surgeon, is NO vacation.  What’s the moral of this rant? Think parents.  Think about your children and what’s best for them.  Revenge will get you nowhere. “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves”-Confucius